About friendship, or something like that.

I'm not sure what day it is. 10.05.2015?

I've always been rubbish at keeping in touch with the people I care about. That's just common Rachel knowledge. But today I'm specially pissed off about it.

For weeks now, maybe even a month, I've been wanting to text Alejandra and just meet up with her because we barely see each other anymore and I guess that in some way I miss her. I mean, we lived together for two years, not even I can be that heartless.

And yesterday she texted me, which made me feel bad but I told her right away that we had to hang out and we agreed on today. But we didn't say a time, which was a mistake. I just thought I would text her today and we could meet and catch up on each other's lives.

I wasn't expecting to wake up in such a bad mood. Or maybe not bad mood, but one of my moods.
Although I didn't notice right away that it was happening.

And so I kept putting off texting her until my brain decided that we weren't going out today and that we had to come up with an excuse for it. Excuse that I've thought of three (or more) hours ago and that now by 9 pm I still haven't given her. To be honest, I might not text her at all.

I guess I could tell her the truth, she's my friend after all, but I know, I KNOW, she would tell me to go out with her tonight and get over it. She knows a lot about be, but she wouldn't understand. And I don't wanna explain. She's one of those people who just doesn't get it. I don't need her to understand depression (I haven't told her but I'm sure she knows by now), I just need her to understand that not everyone is the same.
Or maybe I just need her not to think that going out is the cure to everything.

Anyway, even if I have just complained about her (such news), I still wanted to just spend some time with her. That would've been a step towards my "getting better at keeping in touch with people" milestone that I apparently set for myself last night after suddenly talking with Írem and she telling me "you should write sometimes" (I know, I'm sorry).

So today, instead of going out for a couple hours, getting coffee and chatting with a friend, I'm just going to stay in my room by myself, boring my ass off. What an amazing fucking life.
Riveting.

Fuck off, me.